With APD, how were you as a child? Did you know you had APD?
I was very shy and reserved to say the least!
I didn't let go of my parents, literally. You had to pry me off them at about 5-6 years old.
Social situations were, at times, immensely stressful growing up. In social situations with friends I was fine, once I got comfortable. However, getting me comfortable took time and repetition.
In the classroom I was mortified to be asked a question (in fear of not understanding the question, giving an answer to a question that wasn't asked, or giving the wrong answer). I wouldn't try out for sports or other activities out of fear of not understanding the coach's instructions and being embarrassed.
I did not respond to questions, even those I knew the answer to. I was so unsure of what I was hearing, that I grew up super quiet. I didn't say much out of fear of giving a wrong answer (which would make the person think I either wasn't paying attention or was stupid).
By second grade my parents knew something was wrong and had to be done. It was back in the late 1970's & early 1980's, so my parents had to literally fight with doctors and the entire school system to get them to accept that 1) that something was wrong with me, 2) I had something called APD and 3) get them to help me.
Did you know you had APD?
No, I did not know I had APD! On one of my medical reports it stated "He is quite aware of his difficulties but most likely has a limited conceptual understanding of them." Despite "superior intellectual endowment" and "strong family efforts, socially and emotionally," "the developmental disequilibrium (between verbal/non-verbal skills) is quite stressful."
I didn't conceptualize until much later in life that I had APD and what it meant. Now that I do understand it, a lot of my childhood makes sense. A lot of my "why" questions have been answered.
Initiating
I would rarely be the initiator. I would wait for friends to come play with me. I would never pick up the telephone and make a call (out of fear of not understanding the phone conversation). The telephone, when I was young, was my nemesis. As I got older, and received auditory training, I felt better equipped to initiate. I still don't like the phone, especially cell phones (with spotty/intermittent conversation loss). I prefer talking on my land line home phone over my cell phone. I only understand about 60-70% of a cell phone conversation. I have to fill in the blanks for the rest, or ask the person to keep repeating what they said.
